Films, and such.

listening to: Amazing by Josh Kelley

sighs. freaking teachers hate me. they seem to enjoy picking on me. from denis leong to miss fool, they seem to dislike me so damn much. what did i do to them ar? i hand up their stupid homework (not for miss fool though, so i understand.) and they treat me like im some lazy bum who doesn't bother. freak la. ask jackson la. i hand up my english essay every monday. ask mingxun. i hand up all my assignments except for one. which is better than most people. in the end, i bet he's gonna give me a crap conduct. some freaking crap conduct because of what i have no idea. please. PLEASE. is it me? am i so freaking detestable. do i look like a lazy bum who doesn't give a shit about where his life is heading to? im tired fighting with all of them. they do stupid things to me. like a certain gay made me stand up for smiling. yay. it's illegal to be happy huh? im tired of smiling through it. and seriously, im freaking angry with you teachers are doing to my life.

im not involve in every single freaking thing that happens in class. they send sms to the freaking radio station, i don't know who the hell it is. they broke the door handle, i don't know who it is either. if you think it's me, then go ahead. if my fucking ugly face causes you to feel that im some criminal, then so be it. give me money and i'll go for plastic surgery. maybe i'll get picked on less.
is it my face? is it my "violent" eyes? what is it? the problem has got to lie within me doesn't it? it's always the student's freaking fault. so tell me. what is wrong with me? but before you do, don't assume to know me. don't pretend you're my best friend. don't pretend it's all written in the stars. im here. go ahead and kill me.

my life has lost it's direction. i don't know what keeps me going. i've lost track of the time. and life has lost all meaning. and please. don't accuse me of not trying. cause you have not idea how many times i've stood up and fallen back down. i wanna smile, i wanna be happy. i wanna be normal. so, if it's illegal to smile. then so be it. i'll just stay the depressed bum i am. it just gives me more reason to die.