I have an exam on saturday. I just finished on at 8pm. I have a presentation on wednesday. A subject pool experiment tomorrow. On saturday evening, my evening will be burnt by my project. I have tutorials to complete, and an essay due on friday, and i will only find out the topic tomorrow. My group mates suck, and they don't know the meaning of urgency. Over the last weekend, i was up till 5am everyday. Three consecutive days.
If you think i'm not tired, i am.
My friends have argued. I have known them all my life. Somewhere along the way, they got lost. They have changed, so much that it scares me. SO much that i feel hurt and scared and disappointed. I have no friends, actually. That's why i'm resorting to a blog. I argued with my girlfriend over the fact that my friends (whom she knows) argued, and it hurts, because she's caught in the middle. and it hurts because she hurts.
If you think i'm not upset, i am.
If you think it's black and white, you've gotta be kidding me. If you think i make snap decisions, because i don't care, it's because i care too much. If you think it doesn't grind me down to the darkest corner of my fucking soul, it does. It hurts so much that you just stop caring cause you don't wanna get hurt anymore.
In this world, all you have is yourself. all you have is yourself. fight and fight like hell to preserve it, because nobody cares and everyone just wants to devour a piece of you. Love is like a black hole that keeps taking. You don't love with your heart, you love with your body and so when you're broken, you have nothing left for yourself.
Throw yourself in the midst of danger, but keep one eye open at night.
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