Films, and such.

listening to: The Reason by Hoobastank

im blogging. cause im bored. and i have something to say. i can't put it into words though.

there's something very sickening about friendship. friendship is about trust. whether that person sitting next to you will run the distance with you is an unknown. of course as long as you'll are friends, you trust him. blindly, i might add. unfortunately, history is littered with betrayal. from the small ones, such as human to human relationships, to the big ones, like the russian-german treaty at the start of world war 2.

but i guess that's whats so beautiful about friendship. you never know for sure if that person will betray your trust, break your heart..etc. you do however, seem to have a strange, firm belief in that person. you see it in his eyes, you read his body language. and you think, this is it. the "friend" that everyone is suppose to have, the "forever friends" thingy. and so you tell him everything, from your first kiss to your last tear. and you trust.

and then one day, or night, it's over. you sit there on your bed. tears flowing uncontrollably. you wanna tell someone, but you don't know who. cause you've lost that friend. the one who made all the difference. the one who was suppose to go all the way in the journey of life. the one who you could pour your heart out to. and suddenly, the world seems darker, the people seem colder. betrayal pierces your heart, makes you numb to pain, and inevitably, teaches you about the reality of life. innocence is lost forever and fabled tales of friendships are just a lie. you feel hurt and you cry that night. and the night after. and the night after the night after.

and one day. you stop. maybe you've grown, or would like to think so. and you think hey. it doesn't matter whether this jerk lives or dies. he doesn't make a difference, my life doesn't revolve around someone. and you go on with life. and you meet people, some of whom are nicer, more sincere than that person who stole your trust. but you. no matter how good that person is. you never trust again. cause somewhere in that dark little corner of your cold cold heart. you've lost faith in faith. friends. friends only exists in fairytales and movies. trust? trust no one but yourself.

good night and take care. toodles.

-edit-

you lied to me, embaressed me, treated me like dust. and i should hate you. but i can't.